


This is me

by HufflepuffLightwoodBane



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-18 22:53:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14861847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HufflepuffLightwoodBane/pseuds/HufflepuffLightwoodBane
Summary: Follow the life of a teenage girl as she tries to navigate her way through her depression and anxiety.I'm not scared to be seen. I make no apologies. This is me.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is told from her perspective.

Friends. I thought i had them once, turns out i was wrong. But that didn't matter i found solace in the fictional world. It's just too bad my parents think i need to socialise more, i can't help it if i have mental health issues, right? Anxiety and depression. In a completely morbid way it feels good to actually know what they are. What stops me from doing things no matter how small.

They make me feel infinitesimal. I know now that this world won't accept me for me, no matter how hard i try. The world wants me to be someone else, someone who i couldn't be.

I thought i should end it. It would be better for those around me if i did. But thankfully i did have a couple of good friends who helped me see through the smog and my family too for now at least.

For so long i have hidden within the depths of the pages, written words and fantastical fiction, maybe it's time i step out, became who everyone wants me to be. But that is not me.

All i want to do with my life is have people love me for who i am, not who they want me to be, that's why i'm here i guess. I'm a writer and through pen and paper i can be whoever i want to be.


	2. Chapter 2

Don't have the patience to deal with them. Well when they take my feelings as a joke maybe i don't. i'll add some more detail for you here, this is my story after all. Well, today's my birthday you see and one of my supposed 'friends' i spoke about earlier has been speaking to me about what happened and that's what she said, 'i have no patience with them' how can they even think that. I mean yes i let things get to me more than most people but that is no reason for me to be told that what i'm feeling is 'over dramatic' or a bit excessive, those are my feelings and if people want to bring me down for them should they really have a place in my life, an important place that is.

Who are they to judge me for being who i am, I've known some of them for over 5 years, the others around 2 to 3 years, they know practically everything about me, just wish i knew the real them. They're apparently not who i thought they were, who knew the stereotyped 'geeks' were so mean and would immediately bring someone down, given the opportunity. I've never felt so let down, how could i have been so wrong, about so many people, for so long too. Am i willing to perhaps make that mistake again, why let people in when they shove me down again. 

This is why i like books, television and movies so much. The fictional world is less likely to let you down. You can be whoever you want to be whenever you want to be. Maybe i belong in the pages of a book, lost in pages upon pages of words, a safe haven, a home away from home. I apologise if this story is not appealing to you or anyone else but, this is my life and i'm forced to live it despite having moments where i'd rather not but hey I've made it this far, 19 today, a Gemini, they're said to be two faced. Summer baby, that's right, not that it means anything but still at least i know I've managed 19 years of life i guess i could handle a few more, but i'm going to attempt to make them count with people who really support me and are actually willing to help me and that i in return am willing to be a friend to and be loyal and kind. I guess that's why i'm a Hufflepuff. 

Yep that's right, another fictional anecdote, then again i guess this is why i wouldn't be a vampire given the opportunity, despite how much they interest me and intrigue me, i wouldn't want to be in a world where those i love were not there but slowly but surely my list of loved ones is dwindling down. I'm not your idyllic 19 year old, but 'normal' is not a word i like to use, as who can truly define normal, everyone's normal is different, that's what makes everyone so unique and special. But maybe some people are more like others than i previously thought.

Again i apologise for how sad and depressing this story is and i wish i could say it gets better but alas i cannot, as i do not know what life holds for me but if you'd like i would love to give you a look into the story that is my life, i want to commit my life to paper then maybe it would be like all my books, or movies, or television shows.


End file.
